You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
