Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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