i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
