I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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