The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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