You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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