i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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