It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
