What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize