Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
