Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
