Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
