Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
