woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
