I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
