it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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