I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You made out with two different species that night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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