I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i out mim tonsoeep
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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