You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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