Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
