I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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