how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
