lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize