Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
