So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
