i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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