GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
