He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
