i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
