hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
