I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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