Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
