Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
