As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My ass is underappreciated
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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