dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
