Are we in a gay sports bar?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize