see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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