YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
