"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
