I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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