God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
