Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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