its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
