i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
