I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
