my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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