i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
