Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
