If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize