i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
