I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
