My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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