So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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