I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
