This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
