All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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