I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's how pantless uber rides happen
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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