Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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