so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
