My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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