absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
