Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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