it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
