You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
